straight boys need to chill the fuck out 98% of the time
"Tess is here as our tech master—Tess, can you set up the google hangout please?" -Not my boss at a meeting for not my job wherein I am the only person there under the age of 35 so I am the "tech guru"
my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one” and my dad was like “spell it” and my mom goes “GREG, SHE’S 23”
story about a boy who writes poems and thinks of himself as a tragic, cynical soul and whom no one understands, who falls in love with an attractive whimsical girl with a “wild soul” who commits petty thefts and dyes her hair wacky colours and helps him reconnect with the beauty of life except PLOT TWIST she’s a succubus who preys on gullible cishet white boys who are so desperate for a manic pixie dream girl to complete them that they never see her coming